Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

58 Constantine

Perhaps more than any other emperor, a myth has arisen around the emperor Constantine. He was the emperor who turned the empire christian! He built Constantinople! He created an empire that lasted 1000 years! He had a magic standard! But did he? Join us as we look into Constantine the Great: find out what his favourite type of tent was! His favourite method of crossing swamps and why the first Christmas’ of Rome were very awkward…

57 Licinius

We are down to the final two! Who will come out on top? The young but ambitious Constantine or the more experienced Licinius? Well, it’s Licinius first, so you can probably guess… but exactly how did Licinius fail? was it a brave last stand, refusing to bow down to superior numbers? Or did he slowly become humiliated after being beaten over and over resulting in him running away what seems every other week. We’ll give you two guesses which. 

 

Also: Find out what Season 2 is of Totalus Rankium! 

56 Maximinus Daia

From farm hand to right hand man to the emperor to the emperor himself. Daia'a story should be a grand one of rags to riches. We suppose it is, but Jack never started persecuting entire religions after buying his magic beans (just one giant) - that kind of puts a dampener on the feel-good story. But maybe Daia has merely fallen foul of bias sources? maybe those IKEA-style torture instructions are fake, maybe he didn't drive Diocletian to suicide, maybe he was a good egg. In fact, he most definitely was! he was great! we love him! AAGGH, we've looked into his eyes too long! save us! 

55 Maxentius

This week the son of mighty Maximian is under the microscope. Does Maxentius live up to his father? or even go beyond? He is not invited to the Tetrachic Party and he is not happy. Find out how the simple garden pea can masterfully be deployed as a metaphor for the pursuit for power.

 

Also: We say goodbye to the Praetorian Guard, so we look back and decide on the best Praetorian Prefect.

54 Severus II

Severus II. If you liked Severus, that will probably have no bearing on your opinion of Severus II. He was given the chance to rule by the current emperor; all he had to do was defeated the last emperor using the last emperors army against him… hmmm. anyone spot the flaw?

Also: this week we look into the Edict of Maximum Prices! can Rob convince Jamie that this is interesting? find out! 

53 Galerius

The 4th of the original Tetrarchs and perhaps the most controversial. Was he a genocidal maniac, hellbent on eradicating monotheism? Or did he simple want to teach the christians some discipline? Galerius himself has questions: Was his father a snake? What do the Arminians keep under their armour? Where is Valerian nowadays? And why do the Christians not want to stop being Christian? After all, he is killing a lot of them, surely they should be more co-operative? 

52 Constantius

"Well done Constantius! You are Caesar! You now rule all the land from here to... well, you see that island over there? Yes? The one held by the enemy, that's the one, yes, well, that's now yours! well done! Off you go to rule..."

See how Constantius tackles the might of the roaring English Channel and the screaming Frankish pirates. Can he defeat the first British Empire? Find out in this week's Totalus Rankium!

51 Maximian

Diocletian, Diocletian, Diocletian... That's all anyone wants to talk about. But his colleague Maximian has a lot to offer! Or at least he thinks he does. He is one of Rome's longest rulers, so what did he actually do? Find out: How he lost a Provence with a badly worded note! how he attempted to invade using wardrobes! How he spent his peaceful retirement! And much much more!

50 Diocletian

"Crisis? What Crisis?" these words may have brought down a labour govenment in the 1970s*, but when Diocletian uttered them in in the 280s everyone saw it as a challenge chaos that had prevaled for the last 50 years. Let's face it, it's time someone rolled up their sleves and sorted this mess out...

*apologies for the semi-obscure 70s UK politics reference.